This Thursday is officially World Mental Health Day. It’s a title I have some problems with. It sounds catchy, but is very difficult to define. One definition is “… a person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being.” That’s probably as good as it gets. It covers a spectrum of Being. From chronic , unending depression through to profound psychosis and all manner of anxiety disorders. A Broad church indeed.

1 in 4 people in the UK will have some kind of mental health crisis each year. That’s an awful lot of people suffering an awful lot of distress. Think how many of your friends and family this includes. It’s a safe bet that either you or someone close to you suffers from some kind of emotional distress. This can range from post-natal depression of a psychotic intensity to suicidal plans as a kind of “permanent solution”. En route we have all the everyday anxieties of paying our bills, raising a family and so on. It’s enough to drive us mad! And we all find our own solutions. Be that going to the gym, alcohol or porn. In many cases it seems that the “answer” is worse than the problem.

Pornography and alcohol are popular solutions with men. Often used in tandem. One of my clients described his marriage as good but would regularly sit for half an hour or so watching pornography on his phone before work. He was worried by this use of sex as a panacea and concerned with its potential ability to ruin his marriage.

After several months we came to understand that pornography stood for his problems with emotional intimacy and with his need to continuously show that he could still be “effective” in bed. Pornography took away this pressure because of its essentially impersonal nature. No emotional response was expected.

Happily he was willing to risk coming to see me. And brave enough to let us see where the work might take us. Coming into therapy is a big step and needs a courageous spirit. It is not for the faint hearted! But it is nearly always worth the risk.

In the end, mental health is a deeply personal journey, one that often requires us to confront uncomfortable truths about ourselves. Whether it's the pressures of everyday life, or more severe crises like depression or addiction, seeking help is an act of courage. The solutions we choose can either heal or harm, but it's through honest reflection and professional support that we can begin to untangle the complexities of our emotional well-being. On this World Mental Health Day, let’s remember that reaching out for help isn't a sign of weakness - it’s a powerful step towards recovery and resilience.

Photo by Deniz Altindas on Unsplash