One of the many important things that counselling does, is to help us integrate our shadow side with the rest of ourselves. To integrate ourselves so that we live as richly and fully as possible.

What do we mean when we talk about our shadow side?  The "shadow" refers to the unconscious part of our  psyche that contains repressed, undesirable thoughts, feelings, and impulses that we don't want others to know about.

In counselling we look at our shadow side and how we use it . We all know how to be nice. What is hard is how to be “nice” when we don’t feel it. Road rage is a great example - watch my shadow side come out if you cut me up! Someone has got in my way. Someone has jumped the queue I'm in or some other heinous crime. “It’s not fair!" we complain . “That was my turn.” We want revenge - "Hope they have a crash. That’ll teach them!” All over a few yards of tarmac. From such small matters come wars, invasions and genocide. But after we have shouted, we then resume our pleasant, caring persona, leaving aside our shadow-side self.

Why does our shadow side matter? On a personal level, it can give rise to racism, sexism, homophobia and other irrational beliefs. On a much wider front it give rise to atrocities like Auschwitz and similar horrors.

Counselling offers a space to know about our shadow. Our capacity for hate as well as love. A chance to learn about our darkness as well as our light. And knowing about our darkness allows us to make informed choices.