I’m currently having to use a wheelchair or mobility scooter to get around town. Going into town is remarkably “challenging”. One of Aylesbury’s charms is its cobbled streets. When a straightforwardly, able-bodied pedestrian, I liked this aspect of my town. As a temporary wheelchair user, these mean streets are quite a challenge. There are all manner of hidden hazards - raised manhole covers; bottomless pot holes; other people walking in seemingly randomly ways. The streets are potentially lethal in a wheelchair! This left me wondering about those with an unseen “disability” such as depression or anxiety, which can be as limiting as any physical difficulties. Chronic anxiety can be as disabling as being in a wheelchair. Depression can be as restricting as any number of physical ills. Both are potentially crippling, only invisible.

My current incapacity has left me thinking about emotional disability. In a wheelchair, I’m fairly visible. As a counsellor, I’m regularly listening to people with emotional disabilities which are as debilitating as any damaged body, but which are hidden. It’s still much easier to share about a physical illness than it is to talk about our emotional difficulties. Walk into the office with a bandaged hand and people will ask what happened. Have a box of Prozac on the desk and it will be studiously ignored. This ignoring compounds our emotional pain.

Dealing with this silence is one of many ways in which counselling can help you. Sitting with me gives a space to talk and be heard. The counselling room offers a safe place where nothing is off limits. Here you will find someone who will listen to you and respond. Counselling is a two-way relationship. I will respond to what you tell me and how you tell me. Do you tell me about your distress in a monotone - as if nobody could want to hear you? Do you make light of very painful feelings because that was your childhood experience that nobody seemed to take your feelings seriously? This is the interactive point of therapy. I will listen to all of you - not “just” your story.

This telling is more than just a sharing of ideas. At best it is an affirmative process. It allows you to be validated. And as part of this validation comes a belief that our pain matters. And whilst no therapy can change our past, it can help us fit our history into our present. And, thereby, make room for a better future.

(Photo by marianne bos on Unsplash)