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Mind the Gap
August 17, 2021
Terry Burridge

All things work together for good to those who love God…” Romans 8:28 (A.V.) 

There are slightly different translations of this verse depending upon which version of the bible one is using, but they all convey the same message. That God is in charge. Or in charge of our destiny at the least. (Which immediately raises a much bigger question, namely, who’s in charge of the universe? Thankfully that not a question I’m going to attempt to answer in a blog. But it’s a vital question.) 


As a Christian believer we are constantly told that God has a plan for our lives. No matter what happens to us, God is in control (With the caveat that we must be aiming to live our lives according to His will. A sort of divine quid pro quo.) Are we having a hard time? No matter. God is in it with us. He is teaching us patience. Or he is testing our faith. Or his ways are not our ways and our task is to carry our cross each day. Is life good at the moment? Well, give thanks for God’s blessing on our lives. Like the maze, eventually we will find our way to the centre. Here we will find God and understanding - although some mazes are much more difficult to navigate than others. Eventually we find our way.


This is all fine as far as it goes. But for some of us, the issue isn’t solved by another hymn or chorus - no matter how sincerely we sing them. The same goes for prayer. No matter how fervently we pray, things and people don’t always change. From here we have some choices. We can carry on, ignoring the voice that challenges all we’ve been taught. Or we try harder; we increase our giving; we spend more time in our devotions; we get up earlier to have a longer quiet time and go to more meetings. We read yet another book by this month’s celebrity Christian leader. The whole process can feel like going through a maze. Each new avenue still leaves us lost and confused. So we backtrack and try yet another route. Or we get so fed up that we find our route out and leave. But, of course, some do find their way to the centre to find … we don’t know what they might find. Or what that finding means for them.


Leaving this particular maze is never easy. When we meet our friends and family who stuck it out, there’s always the feeling of being reproached for not having stayed longer and tried harder. We’ve missed the satisfaction of finding the Way. The struggles have been worth it because now they have a new knowledge which we who quit don’t share. There is now a slight gap in our relationship. They carried on, we didn’t. We are the ones who lost out. The reward of finding the Centre made all the hard work worthwhile. Which is, of course, an obvious allegory. We who have moved in Christian circles know all about Sheep and Goats. About those who stay and those who leave. (Look at any mediaeval painting of the Last Judgement. Those artists had a clear picture in their heads of the fate of those who were not the right tribe. (It always seems to me that so many of these painters found the torments of the damned far more interesting than the rewards of the faithful.)


So, what has this to do with therapy? A lot. I like this quote from Freud:

  • “If one wishes to form a true estimate of the full grandeur of religion, one must keep in mind what it undertakes to do for men. It gives them information about the source and origin of the universe, it assures them of protection and final happiness, and it guides - by precepts - backed by the full force of its authority.”


It's an all-in-one package - protection, happiness and guidance. Why don’t we all follow a religious path? Partly because there are large numbers of “spiritual bylaws” that we only discover once we’ve signed on the dotted line. There are bylaws about sex (Christianity in particular seems to find sex difficult. Only within marriage to a heterosexual partner and then only in the missionary position with the lights out!) Bylaws about how long to spend over one’s devotions. Should I read a chapter of the Bible a day? Or two or more? Then how much of the Bible should I know by heart? (One writer recommended that the Christian believer should learn by heart all four gospels and a good number of the epistles. This for young Christians. Those who were more mature should learn more! Then there’s money. How much should I give? 10%? And do I give 10% of my gross salary or my net? (The quick answer was “the more you give, the more God will bless you. So if one could only afford a Morris Minor as opposed to the Daimler the travelling Evangelist drove, you’re not giving enough.) Entry into the Kingdom of Heaven may be free - but once you’re in, it makes Disneyland look cheap! But for some, these bylaws are deeply reassuring. Follow the rules, and God will bless you. And if you’re not feeling particularly blessed, don’t worry. God is just testing you.


The psychoanalyst Eric Fromm put it this way:

  • “To some people return to religion is the answer, not as an act of faith but in order to escape an intolerable doubt; they make this decision not out of devotion but in search of security.” 


He puts it more succinctly than me. But it is the same message.


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